Can You Hear Me Now?

October 14, 2008

I’d like to beat up the jerk who decided to come up with voice prompt for automated phone systems. What the heck was wrong with having people just push the button on the phone’s keypad? Now I have to say my answers and try to enunciate as best I can so that the damn thing can ‘understand’ me. Just let me push the damn buttons! Why must I be made to look like an idiot with tourettes by being out on my phone randomly saying “yes” and “no” with the occasional curse word because the stupid thing wasn’t sure what I said?!

Plus, the damn thing seems to be sensitive at random times. I’ll be trying to say something and at the same time a fly goes by and suddenly it needs me to repeat myself! So, I try again, but my neighbor down the street slammed his door so again it can’t understand me! I keep trying to repeat myself but then I’ll suddenly have to sneeze or cough and start over!!!

And do these places forget that their business hours are my business hours! I usually need to call when I myself am at work. Am I supposed to announce my account number or social security number? And since the damn system can never catch what I’m saying then I’m pretty much yelling out my personal information! What if I need to say “birth control”, “fungus medication” or “proctology”??? I’m now expected to say these things out loud no matter where I’m at.

So, please, let’s just stop with the voice prompt systems. Just let me push the damn buttons on my phone until I get to where I need to go! I’m not a big phone person so, half the time, I don’t even want to talk to an operator so don’t make me talk to a machine, damnit!

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Why Must I Chase The Cat

October 8, 2008

Sorry, had a little George Clinton mood for a minute there as I thought about my dog related post here. I was discussing with a friend about my mother’s dog’s escape attempt on Sunday and the heart attack he almost gave me. We got to talking about how he didn’t realize how scared I was that something could happen to him, obviously when he looked at me with that dumb puppy “what did I do?” look. Oh, how we become very close to our pets. I’ve always had dogs growing up so, I’ve become accustomed to having them around. I love all animals, but have always been a dog person all my life. Plus, we were always ‘rough housing’ as kids and a dog seemed to fit into that mix quite well. I’m surprised our wreckless child selves never accidentally hurt a dog. However, a dog did break my arm once. Anyhoo, I’ve already mentioned my girl Kyna ad nauseum on this blog. So, one more time won’t make a difference.

Look how pretty she is (me, biased? nah.) She is a really sweet dog and I can’t imagine not having her. Unfortunately she came from an abusive home when I adopted her. I get very upset every time I think about the abuse she and other dogs/animals have to endure from idiots on a daily basis. Don’t even get me started on Michael Vick. I think pets are great therapy and I’m sure anyone out there with pets can agree with me. I would sometimes watch Animal Cops and pretty much be angry and/or sad throughout it. I just don’t think there is any reason to hurt an animal. It really upsets me when stupid people get pets and then neglect them. With people like this I think the punishment should fit the crime. If they starve a dog then they should starve too. Sounds fair to me. I think I should run for Governor and pass this as a state law. I know I would be better than Arnold Schwarzenegger (freaking California voters…sigh).

Anyway, I’m going to go make another donation to the ASPCA , but not PETA because they’re morons. Sorry, if there’s PETA supporters out there, but most of the crap they spew is nonsensical BS.

Just felt like giving props to pets and fellow pet owners. So, I’ll leave you all now with this video I found which shows why pets rule.


Arachnid Wars

October 3, 2008

I think spiders are going to revolt against me. First off, as I’ve mentioned before, I am in no way scared of bugs and/or spiders. Except for potato bugs…those really creep me out! With that being said, it doesn’t mean I want to be bitten or stung by one or have bugs crawling on me. If I see any kind of bug/spider I have no qualms about grabbing a napkin, shoe, or anything readily available to squeeze the life out of it (I hope there isn’t an insect PETA).

Last night as I sat in the living room watching TV I noticed a spider crawling on the wall above the entertainment center. It was relatively small. Maybe it was drawn there by all the Halloween decorations and wanted to make itself at home among the fake spiderwebs.  I knew I had to kill it so it wouldn’t end up in my bedroom and wake me up in the middle of the night as it crawled up my leg. So, I grab a chair to stand on for height and a shoe to smash it with. As I pull my arm back to kill it, the little SOB swung out at me! I managed to bust a matrix style move and get out of it’s way. As I went to swing for it again, it spun a web and dropped down behind the entertainment center. I couldn’t see him so I waited a bit. He did end up crawling back up however, this time he wedged himself in the tiny space where the ceiling and wall meet. I tried sticking things in there to coax him out, but it was a futile effort. I decided to wait again. This time he would come out half way and quickly go back in. And he did this about 5-6 times. The little bastard was taunting me! He eventually stayed up there and I gave up. When I looked again about 45 minutes later, he was gone.

I have a feeling I may have killed his mother last month and he’s come for revenge. I initially had a hard time sleeping because I kept thinking he was going to get in my bedroom. I just knew I was going to wake up in the middle of the night, feel something crawling up my leg, and see this…

Now, I’m going to be thinking about this guy having free range of my home, waiting until I get back to terrorize me some more. I’m sure I’ll find him there when I walk in today…sitting on my recliner, smoking a cigar.


Weekend Happenings

September 29, 2008

So, I thought I’d post a quick blurb on the weekend and it’s events. This is just a short post as I had one heck of a busy long weekend and I’m exhausted today. I really just want to take a nap under my desk, but apparently they frown on that at my job.

Some of you have already brought it up, and yes I’m well aware that Scott Linehan was fired as the Rams head coach. I doubt anyone is surprised by that. They are 0-4, have been outscored 147-43, have a paper thin defense and Linehan’s decision to bench Bulger for old man Trent Green is baffling. I can only hope that Chip Rosenbloom is working on making a lot more needed changes to get this team back to form.

On another note, I fell once again this weekend. I think this is my 3rd fall this year. Unfortunately, I re-injured my already bad knee and it’s bruised and swollen. Therefore I’m in some pain and rather uncomfortable. So, my mind isn’t focused too much which is why I don’t have a better post today. I’ll hopefully have more in the next couple of days. For now, I just want to go home, ice my knee, and take a nap!


My Siamese Twin

September 24, 2008

For the last few days I’ve been trying to fight off what seems to be the onset of a cold. I’ve done pretty good and only on Monday did I feel extra worn out. I was starting to think yesterday that I may win this fight against mother nature. Then mother nature came with a blind left hook and gave me…a cold sore! A freaking cold sore!!!! It’s like I have a third nipple growing out of the corner of my lip! The worst part is I have errands to run later and there’s nothing like going out with a cold sore and having people look at it instead of you. You know those times people try so hard not to look at it, but their eyes gravitate towards it anyway. You know they’re trying to figure out if I got the herpes and forming judgements in their head.

 

At least I don’t really feel sick yet. I actually feel better than I did on Monday. I just hope this damn lip deformity goes away sooner rather than later! I may end up working the freak show circuit a la Joseph Merrick! I really wish this week would stop kicking my ass!


You Talkin’ To Me?

September 23, 2008

I have a situation at work that causes me to wonder when people are talking to me. There are two other co-workers here who share my first name. Those of you who know my real first name will know that it’s not a super common name. I’ve actually never worked anywhere with someone having the same name as me. Now, the last 3 years I’ve been at this company I’ve worked with two others that have the same name. So, I’m constantly hearing my name and wondering if they’re talking to me or even about me. It’s a little frustrating.

The worst is when we get a new receptionist, which is often, and she forgets to use a last name or initial when she pages. So, the three of us end up wondering which one of us is actually being paged.

I’ve heard my name a handful of times today. Only once was someone actually talking to me. I think I should start putting on my resume that I can not work in an office where someone else shares my name, unless they agree to be called Bucky once I start.

Why isn’t it Friday yet???

Also, be sure to check out Dan’s post on his Spidey tin. It’s a great read and he’s got a piece on the Batman Happy Meal.


Why The Y?

September 18, 2008

Like many people today, I go to the gym. Now, first off, I have to mention that I hate going to the gym. Yep, I said it…I hate going to the gym! I only go because age has caught up with me and my body has given up on quickly metabolizing everything I eat. I have to go now. If I could go through life eating whatever the hell I wanted with out worrying about my weight then I’d be in heaven or the burger joint down the street. But, that’s not the case. I wanted to clarify that before some fitness fanatic finds my blog through a Google search and wants to talk ‘fitness goals’ or ‘chart an exercise plan’. That’s all great for those of you who love working out, but for me it’s my Achilles heel. Which by the way hurts a little from yesterday’s workout.

I don’t go to a ‘regular’ gym, as in, I don’t go to 24hr Fitness or Bally’s…etc. I go to the YMCA. Luckily there’s one a couple of blocks away from me. I chose the YMCA because of it’s family atmosphere and the fact that it’s much bigger than any of the gyms nearby me. I will always be able to find a machine to workout on no matter what time I go. I also enjoy the family feel. Unlike other gyms, I don’t see ‘Sally Clothes Too Tight’ in full on make up looking like she’s going to a photo shoot instead of to workout. Or ‘Beefy Muscle Shirt Bob’ who’s stacking up the weights and grunting and sighing away so everyone can see what a buff specimen of a man he is as he stares at himself in the mirror. Look, I prefer to keep the grunting and heavy breathing to the bedroom, which is the only time sweating is good…but I’m getting off track. That’s a story for another day.

In going to the YMCA, I’ve made quite a few observations about some of the quirks of those who come here instead. Sometimes it’s amusing and sometimes it irks me, but it’s always blog material. So, I figured I’d share some of the goins’ on at the Y.

The one thing I have never been able to understand is how anyone can workout in jeans. Well, there are a few people who show up to workout in less than comfortable attire! First off, wouldn’t wearing jeans be a little chaffing and secondly, denim is not breathable! I know everyone has at least something besides jeans they can workout in. Heck, show up in your PJ’s at least. Just this week I saw a man come in, not only in jeans, but a dress shirt. What the??? Who the heck doesn’t have a T-Shirt? And even if he was just getting out of work, it only takes a second to switch into it! There also tends to be a few high schoolers around. Some decide that the best workout outfit is Dickies shorts and Vans. Of course there are the emo kids who show up in their skinny jeans who just kind of walk on a treadmill all the while making sure not to mess up their douchebag emo haircut. Which I don’t see the point of doing anything healthy to live longer if the world and life is so depressing. Shouldn’t you be at home cutting yourself anyway?! I’ll give you something to be sad about kid. Whoa, sorry, off on a tangent again. But, the point, don’t wear jeans and Dickies to the gym. It’s so easy to get anything else to wear. Quit being dumb people!

Because the YMCA is so family oriented, then that means many people bring their kids. For the babies and toddlers they have a day care. For the slightly older kids they have rooms with Foosball tables and things to draw and color with or use as projectiles to stab little Billy in the eye. Then we get to the pre-teens. They can participate in basketball, swim in the pool or workout with their parent as long as they’re supervised. There lies the problem. Parents tend to not supervise them and the kids start using the gym equipment as if they were in a playground. Just yesterday a mother came in with her son who must have been about 12. While mom is walking on the treadmill talking to her friend about the neighbor’s bad perm job, junior is running around like a rabid monkey. He decided to play on the obliques rotator and just twist wildly on it. The weights kept slamming down as he rotated away. I look towards mom and she is oblivious to the fact that her kid is about to break thousands of dollars worth of equipment. Finally, someone asked the kid to get the heck off. So,  junior went to go use the treadmill next to mom, but kept turning it on and off. Of course his mom never once made an attempt to discipline him. Obvious she doesn’t understand the fact that constantly having to replace gym equipment means the possibility of our rates going up. I think the gym should be like Survivor and we should be able to cast people off. Mother of the year here and her devil spawn would be my first vote.

All in all the Y isn’t so bad. These are just a couple of the things that I found to be interesting to say the least. I would still choose the Y over another gym anytime. It’s a much more comfortable atmosphere, especially since I really don’t enjoy going. Maybe I could skip the gym altogether and invest in some Super Colon Cleanse. Excuse me, I got some phone calls to make.

Edit: Here’s some pictures of the Y. I took these to give you an idea of what the place looks like. I would have taken more, but I needed to get my workout on.